Put Your Life Experience in a Legacy Letter

A legacy letter, also known as an ethical will, is not a legal document; it’s an expression of a person‘s life wisdom, their values, and their meaningful life experiences. It’s intended as a source of life guidance and caring for the recipient…and a great way to start 2026.

“A legacy letter with your life wisdom is an inheritance more valuable than money,” says Amy Paul, a retired attorney who founded HeirloomWords, a site dedicated to teaching people how to write a legacy letter. Last November, over 50 people zoomed in for a Grey Panthers presentation, led by Amy Paul, entitled “Legacy Letters: What Will You Leave Behind?” Paul emphasized, “It’s something handed down from one person to the next from one generation to the next. It has evolutionary value for the family and serves to make the world a better place.”

What’s Your Legacy?

Before her father passed away, Paul assisted him in writing a memoir, which they self-published. This experience meant a great deal to her family. She noted that a legacy letter offers similar benefits to a memoir but is shorter and requires less effort. It focuses on sharing valuable lessons learned throughout life, especially during challenging times.

This tradition has ancient roots, tracing back to the Old Testament, and reviving it allows us to appreciate our elders more deeply.

To help keep this tradition alive, Paul created the HeirloomWords project. “I’ve done presentations for years and wanted to do this as a community project,” she explained. “Having worked in many nonprofits focused on the elderly, it was heartbreaking to see how seniors were often not given the respect they deserved. Restoring the letter tradition is a step toward recognizing and honoring the knowledge older people possess. Legacy letters can help combat our society’s ageism.”

Benefits of Writing a Legacy Letter

A legacy letter provides an opportunity for the writer to offer or receive forgiveness, creating a sense of closure and allowing for explanations of past actions. The writing process can be healing, both physically and psychologically. “When the recipient had a rocky relationship with the author, it can lead to a softer and more accepting relationship,” Paul explains. “That’s why you have to be mindful when writing; you don’t want to rehash old grudges and disputes.”

“The process of writing means going back into your life,” she continues. “You learn about your family dynamics and gain insight into your behaviors and values. You aim to encourage discussions about what truly matters. Writing involves reflection and analysis, and you emerge from the process feeling proud for attempting to guide the recipient properly, even if you weren’t perfect.”

The letter benefits the recipient by keeping the memory of the beloved writer alive and positive throughout their life. It can help resolve past conflicts and provide guidance during difficult times. It affirms the writer’s values and offers the recipient a sense of identity and roots.

“Memories help us understand our past, present, and future, and writing helps us heal,” says Paul. “Some people reveal long-held secrets and the reasons for keeping them. This is a chance to resolve conflict, and a legacy letter preserves love and pride for a family.”

Paul recalled working with an individual from a low-income community who felt her life lacked substance. Although she had no money or valuables to pass on to her children, after writing her legacy letter, she realized she had given them love, advice, and something positive to remember her by, thus finding meaning in her life.

Writing the Legacy Letter

During a workshop attended by Senior Planet, Amy Paul shared some tips on how to begin.

Start by identifying the recipient(s) and include:

• The values and experiences that mattered most to you.
• Stories that impacted you, including pivotal moments and important family tales.
• Sayings that reflect your values and have guided you. Listening to songs from your youth or looking at photos can jog your memory.
• Be honest and true to yourself. Focus on the future and avoid negativity. While writing, ask yourself, “How can I help my recipient?”

Consider writing the letter over several days, creating an outline, drafting at least twice, and then finalizing it. You can do this independently or with assistance.

Other Options

In addition to written letters, you can create a video or audio file. However, since technology evolves, it’s wise to have a written version as well. You can present the letter while you’re alive or leave it with your estate. It could serve as a birthday gift to a younger family member, presented in an archival folder available at art stores.

There’s no maximum length for a legacy letter, and there are templates available online.

How it Feels

“I had taken a professional development workshop on this topic years ago, but I hadn’t given it much thought until I was writing my own will,” shares M. Jennifer Brougham, Family Sociology Faculty at Arizona State University. “I realized I wanted to leave more to my children and grandchildren than just material items. I wanted them to understand what was important in my life, the values I hoped to pass on, the significance of faith, spiritual life, justice, and sharing with those less fortunate. Most importantly, I wanted to emphasize love and forgiveness.”

YOUR TURN

Have you written a legacy letter? Would you consider writing one? Share your thoughts in the comments!